Stress Management,Resilience Skills
27 February 2021
When we are facing adversity, we have to process this experience and find a way to deal with it. We
When we are facing adversity, we have to process this experience and find a way to deal with it. We want to change to a place where life is enjoyable again.
But the process of change might not be that simple. And many know that when we want our lives to be different, we often fall back into old and depleting habits.
We may not be able to change what we experience, but we can improve our reaction to it. Change requires noticing and reflecting upon what is - thinking about how we would like the different to look like. But that is not enough. Now the work begins. Now is the time for action. To implement the new behaviours - sustainably. Here, at The Resilient Mind, we think of the process as a tailored training programme, which we create together, then apply it into your life so you can move towards to where you want to be.
One fundamental change needed for many of us is to learn how to work with setbacks. The critical word here is ‘how’.
We all work with setbacks already, yet many of us inherently see them as proof of personal failure. Evidence of our worthlessness. The behaviour of a mediocre self, the confirmation of our inability to change. These belief systems can be so ingrained in us that we are unaware of them. They have become part of our psychological DNA. Yet they are changeable, and we are all worthy of making it happen through seeking help. We need to shift our mindset in the way we look at setbacks.
Setbacks can come with a whole range of unwanted self-beliefs which can trigger those experiences we do not want: fear, sadness, panic, pain, stress. Consequently, and understandably, we try to shelter ourselves from sadness, by choosing to stop the behaviour that triggered all of these setbacks in the first place: change. By trying to protect ourselves from the pain, we change our course, and we are now no longer going for what we wanted in the first place.
This is when many of us seek shelter in hope. Hope, can be the trust that mercy and salvation will be given to us. Or it can be understood as the belief that a better tomorrow can exist, and that we can bring it about.
You nor I can influence mercy or salvation. We can, however, believe in our ability to adapt our behaviours to help us live a better life. Regardless of how often we fall and fail, change is possible.